Does God Really Choose a Spouse for Us?
Some months ago, I did a survey among 30 ladies concerning how they want their man to propose to them. It was very obvious that the ladies do not want to hear about the dreams and visions he had or the number of days he fasted and prayed before he was sure that she is the one. They just want to hear how he feels about them and they want it to be magical (Whatever that means…). As much as I would not want to talk about how to propose, it is an outflow of what the guy believes and the perception of the proposal is also an outflow of what the lady believes.
There have been many schools of thought that teach different things. Some have said that the choice of the spouse is a complete prerogative of the humans involved and so they can decide to marry whoever they have feel right for them. In this school, attraction and perhaps character is the basis for choosing as they believe that God does not have a will about the choice of life partner. There is imbalance in this school because both parties can only see the present, but do not know what could happen after some time to the physique or body shape of the person. Most marriages that sit on this foundation end in frustration and eventually, divorce.
Another school of thought believes that whoever God shows you is the person you must marry. The people in this category believe that before you can be sure of the right person, you must have had some dreams and visions and there must have been a sacrifice of several days of fasting and prayers. Most times, the guys here are always brutal while proposing and they do not expect the lady to say no as they believe that they have heard God and so the lady must obey without considering attraction. If the lady says no, the guy mounts pressure on her to obey God.
This school of thought is also not balanced because there is a reason God gave us our bodies and the attraction of the body should not be seen as a work of the flesh, rather a blessing from God to be used in the right way. God’s thought for you is not a person, but a plan. According to God’s purpose for your life, there will be a kind of person that fits you. As you walk with God, you would be able to identify correctly who he/she can be.
There must be a balance in our belief system as the way to Life is a narrow path with dungeons on both sides. The schools of thought mentioned above are two extremes that must be avoided, though stories in the bible have been used to back up these thoughts, but we must be balanced in our application of these stories.
God has a will concerning the choice of marriage and you would like the person because His will is good, acceptable and perfect. Acceptable means that you will be attracted to each other, but it must first be His will. A proposal should be magical, but the lady must also be interested in what he heard from God before she goes to confirm it on her own without any pressure to obey.
Olanrewaju Olaniyi
Some months ago, I did a survey among 30 ladies concerning how they want their man to propose to them. It was very obvious that the ladies do not want to hear about the dreams and visions he had or the number of days he fasted and prayed before he was sure that she is the one. They just want to hear how he feels about them and they want it to be magical (Whatever that means…). As much as I would not want to talk about how to propose, it is an outflow of what the guy believes and the perception of the proposal is also an outflow of what the lady believes.
There have been many schools of thought that teach different things. Some have said that the choice of the spouse is a complete prerogative of the humans involved and so they can decide to marry whoever they have feel right for them. In this school, attraction and perhaps character is the basis for choosing as they believe that God does not have a will about the choice of life partner. There is imbalance in this school because both parties can only see the present, but do not know what could happen after some time to the physique or body shape of the person. Most marriages that sit on this foundation end in frustration and eventually, divorce.
Another school of thought believes that whoever God shows you is the person you must marry. The people in this category believe that before you can be sure of the right person, you must have had some dreams and visions and there must have been a sacrifice of several days of fasting and prayers. Most times, the guys here are always brutal while proposing and they do not expect the lady to say no as they believe that they have heard God and so the lady must obey without considering attraction. If the lady says no, the guy mounts pressure on her to obey God.
This school of thought is also not balanced because there is a reason God gave us our bodies and the attraction of the body should not be seen as a work of the flesh, rather a blessing from God to be used in the right way. God’s thought for you is not a person, but a plan. According to God’s purpose for your life, there will be a kind of person that fits you. As you walk with God, you would be able to identify correctly who he/she can be.
There must be a balance in our belief system as the way to Life is a narrow path with dungeons on both sides. The schools of thought mentioned above are two extremes that must be avoided, though stories in the bible have been used to back up these thoughts, but we must be balanced in our application of these stories.
God has a will concerning the choice of marriage and you would like the person because His will is good, acceptable and perfect. Acceptable means that you will be attracted to each other, but it must first be His will. A proposal should be magical, but the lady must also be interested in what he heard from God before she goes to confirm it on her own without any pressure to obey.
Olanrewaju Olaniyi
Question:
ReplyDeleteWhat if you the lady knows this is the guy, and the guy never heard anything of such, but the guy just loved her but no conviction from the guy.
And the lady prayed and was 100% sure, he's the one .
Amos 3:3 says there must be an agreement. If there is no agreement, there is no joining. The lady would have to define the relationship so as to keep her emotions in check.
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